A birthmom

A friend had an adoption fall through recently. A young teenage girl decided at the last minute to keep her baby. Instead of wondering if some guy likes her or what to wear to a dance, she is having to make some very grown up decisions even though she is just a girl as a result of choices she made nine months earlier. As I thought about this situation, I naturally remembered my birth moms and the amazing women they are. When faced with the same dilemma, they made a different decision, a choice made with more thought about the baby they held and less about themselves.

I can't speak for all birth moms, but I would bet the majority of them at some point in their pregnancy dream of keeping their baby (and I'm sure they think about it even more after the baby is born wondering if there was a way....) They think about how no one could love their baby as much as they do and could anyone raise him better then the baby's own mom? The choice to place a baby for adoption isn't made lightly and it definitely isn't made by someone who doesn't love their baby. The choice is made despite friends and family telling her how beautiful her baby is and even some friends who mention how much "fun" it will be to be a mom. I watched both my birthmoms cuddle with their baby and I admit, with Dallin's birth mom I was scared (being my first time going through it and lacking faith in her which I hope she forgives me for.) I watched her grow more and more attached to Dallin and I worried she wouldn't have the courage and the strength to make the hard choice. Both birth moms have amazed me though. I am amazed by their strength, courage, and most of all, the love they have for their baby to realize that although they loved their baby very much, they could give their baby more by placing him in a family with a mom and a dad, a family ready and able to provide and love this baby too.

I will forever be grateful for two women who made the harder choice, the unselfish choice, the choice made for the love of a baby. I also realize every day the privilege it is to raise these two boys and the gift that was given to Zane and me. It is an awesome responsibility we feel on our shoulders. I hope one day to look these women in the eyes and tell them how hard we tried to be the best parents, that we hope we did right by them, and how much we love them.

Here is a story of a truly amazing birthmom. As you read it, you will see the maturity and strength in this woman. Take the time to read this story. You will be amazed.