Monday, July 30, 2012

All That's Been Promised

Every once in awhile, the pain of being infertile comes rushing back. Last week I randomly came in contact with a friend from my high school years and one of Zane's friends got in contact with him again.  These were two guys we hadn't seen since our marriage and in my case from before college. There are always questions about our family but on my part I always think that whatever guy friend I come in contact with is thinking, "I'm so glad I didn't marry her because she can't have kids."  Please note that the idea of marrying me never crossed either of these two guys mind, but that doesn't stop me thinking they are glad they didn't.

With the birth of Dallin, the holes in my heart caused by the infertility years slowly healed.  Lets face it, as a new mom you are too busy raising your child to think constantly that you didn't actually give birth.  It didn't seem to matter.  I was a mom and that was all I ever wanted.  I think it also helps that with the adoption process you start focusing less on yourself and think more about the incredible women placing their babies for adoption.  Infertility never really goes away though.  I feel it more when I'm starting the adoption process again because I get so frustrated with the paperwork.  I'm happy when my friends and family members give birth, but I'll admit I had a good crying session when my older brother unexpectedly got pregnant with their third child (we had just lived through losing Dallin's half brother) and when I had to run something up to the hospital where my sister was giving birth and was practically there for it.  I'm not sure why, but seeing/hearing her in labor led to another crying session (although you would think I would just be grateful I didn't have to do that).  Again though, these moments are really rare.

Zane knows just what to say when I get down about being infertile. Two comments in particular will go down as some of the most romantic words ever spoken to me (and I mean this in all seriousness).

"I heard a few years back that a girl I dated before my mission had three or four children.  I thought then how glad I was that I married you."

"Ariane (probably said in an exasperated tone) I didn't marry you for your ovaries."

Zane knows just what to say to pick me up and realize that what we have together is pretty special and that the way our family is created is nothing more than miraculous.

I have one special song that helped me through my years.  It is my celebration song.  It reminded me to have hope when I thought all hope was gone.  I added the song to some slides to celebrate the miracle that our family is and to remind myself how wonderful we have it!

"Patiently" sung by Elizabeth Brown from the CD "Chosen: Songs of Hope Inspired by Adoption"



Sunday, July 15, 2012

Gavin at Two

This post has been written a million times in my head.  If only I could just connect my head to a computer and download the info instead of finding time to sit down and type.  We have been very busy around our house with some major home improvement projects.  Pictures to come.


Now all about the two-year-old Gavin:

I used to describe Gavin as angelic, sweet...and then Gavin turned two.  The High Council speaker today in church pointed out that loud kids make great missionaries and then pointed to our row and said, "Like these boys."  Thanks for pointing out that we are the loudest family in church. He burst my fantasy bubble where I tell myself other families are louder and that Gavin's loud laughter/screeching is music to people's ears.

Let's just say that Gavin has learned to speak his mind and to fight for what he wants.  If he is happy, we all know it and his giggles really are music to my ears (except in church.)  If he is mad because he isn't getting his way, then he throws a great temper tantrum.  Maybe because Gavin is a second child, he has learned to be louder so that mom pays attention.  When he starts a temper tantrum, we all pay attention!  Gavin has Dallin wrapped around his finger though.  A lot of the times Dallin is causing the screaming by taking Gavin's toy or trying to wrestle with him when Gavin doesn't want to.  Gavin starts screaming and Dallin has learned to pull Gavin on his lap and start singing "I Am a Child of God."  Gavin calms right down.  It is really precious to see.

Favorite Song: ABC's, "I Am a Child of God", "I Love to See the Temple", and "Choose the Right."  Gavin has great pitch and when he starts singing, we all know what he is singing even if he can't say all the words.  Gavin breaks out singing all day long.  I need to catch it on video because it is so cute.  He loves to listen to Primary songs and will say the last words of each sentence.  So when he is listening to Choose the Right and you get to the chorus you hear the word right sung really loud over and over.  Love it!  Gavin also loves dancing and has learned a weird dance from Dallin that involves smacking his behind.  We are trying to teach them both other ways to dance.

Favorite Toy: Gavin just discovered the movie Cars.  He is hooked and likes to play with all Dallin's cars. Gavin plays independently really well and makes the cutest car sounds as he is playing. Gavin also loves playing outside especially if he sees a dog.  He will follow a dog anywhere.

 Crazy underwater hair!  Not my best picture but I love how Gavin is still smiling underwater!


 Gavin is adventurous.  He loves daddy throwing him down the slip and slide.

 While Dallin and I were taking the trash out, Gavin found some sprinklers.  Apparently he didn't realize he wasn't in his swim suit!

Favorite Game: Wrestling, Duck Duck Goose, and Don't Eat Pete (a Family Home Evening Game)
With Gavin, any sitting activity (like Family Home Evening, Family Prayers etc) becomes a wrestling match or Duck Duck Goose after a few minutes.
 Wrestling with daddy

Favorite Food: Milk, Cheese, Mac and Cheese (only the yucky box kind), cheerios, pancakes, bread, gum, candy...Gavin is super picky because these are really the only foods he will eat without a fight.  He is great about drinking a green smoothie for me every day thank goodness so that I know he is getting all his nutrients.  Gavin isn't motivated by desserts.  I can get Dallin to eat anything we are eating because he knows there is a small treat after dinner.  Gavin could care less.  It is such a strange concept to me. When it comes to food, Gavin's stubborn streak comes out. I make vegetable soups once a week and then puree Gavin's so that it is nice and smooth.  I can get a couple of bites in him this way while he is distracted with toys on his tray.  He has been known to purposely gag though and throw up.  I can't sneak anything in his mouth that isn't completely smooth.  He will just put his hands in his mouth and pull out whatever I got in there.  We are trying all kinds of tricks with Gavin to get him to eat (I refuse to resort to hot dogs and chicken nuggets every day which he would happily eat...depending on the day) and sometimes we win the battle and sometimes he wins. I wish he would stay consistent though besides being consistently picky.  One day he loved corn on the cob, and the next day he wouldn't even try it.  That's very typical.  Gavin is also strange in that he likes to try weird things like vinegar when we were dying Easter eggs or play dough, but if I put something super yummy on his tray and tell him to try it, he won't even touch it. Presentation is very big with him.  Gavin eats breakfast and lunch pretty well and at dinner we offer him all kinds of foods.  If he tries something there is lots of cheering and if he refuses he doesn't get his treat.  His green smoothie at dinner time fills him up.  If anyone has ideas for picky eaters, I'm all ears!
Gavin has no problem sneaking cookie dough or eating cookies.

Favorite Body Part: Gavin is obsessed with belly buttons.  It is getting to be quite a problem because he tries to pull up other people's shirts to find their belly buttons.  There have been a couple of girls who really don't like their shirt being pulled by Gavin while he tries to get to their belly button.  We will keep working on understanding personal space!

Favorite Person: Mommy hands down.  I get so many kisses and hugs all day long.

Favorite Item to Wear: Underwear! Since Gavin was 18 month, he has gone number 2 on the potty.  I wish I could take credit for this and say I'm an amazing mom, but I can't.  Gavin just likes using the potty and reading books while he sits.  Recently he decided that he wanted to wear Lightning McQueen underwear like Dallin.  The problem: we can't find underwear small enough for our tiny Gavin.  Gavin is 25 pounds and in the 25th percentile for his weight.  At home Gavin wears underwear all the time.  When we go out, he needs a pull up.  He has a hard time when he goes out because after he drinks, he goes potty every 20 minutes.  If I'm running a lot of errands, it is too hard to keep finding a potty.  He will get there soon. The funny thing with Gavin is again he isn't motivated by candy.  He will go potty because he wants to.  If I say use the potty and you will get a piece of candy, his stubborn self comes out and he will not use the potty for awhile. The dentist will be so happy that he doesn't need a piece of candy every time he goes potty!


Gavin fits perfectly in our family and is very popular where ever he goes.  He loves saying hi and bye to people and will keep repeating himself until you say hi back.  He is hard to ignore. His eyelashes and curls attract a lot of female admirers!

We love our Gav Gav!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Birthday Cake

 We had a little party at Grandma's house this weekend when I had more time to make a cake.  Gavin had a lot of helpers when he opened presents.


Then it was time for cake.  This cake took me an hour and a half to decorate.  After I was done, I wondered if it was worth it.  When Gavin woke up from his nap, he looked at his cake, broke out into a huge smile, and said, "Elmo!"  Worth it.



Grandma told the kids that they could finish up the last bit of ice cream.  My kids (who apparently have no manners) climbed on the table and got to it.  The birthday boy made sure it was all gone!
We had such a fun time celebrating our special boy!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Gavin's 2nd Birthday

 He couldn't have been happier on his birthday.  Gavin loves singing happy birthday and saying You really loud.  He loved his new tricycle, Elmo balloon, and Elmo hat.  He thought all the new clothes were all ok.  Opening the presents though was great!  (Ignore the baggy underwear.  We are struggling to find small enough underwear that fits Gavin.)





For Gavin's birthday, we went to the Children's Museum with cousins and friends.


Because Gavin is a really picky eater, we decided to go to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner so that Zane and I could get soup and salad while Gavin and Dallin filled up on mac and cheese, pizza, and bread.  Oh, and of course ice cream.  I think Gavin had a fantastic day!
Stay tune for birthday cake pictures....