I had to squeeze in the back between the two car seats in order to finish putting socks and shoes on the boys. I had Zane put on my favorite adoption music and I sat looking at my two beautiful boys. The day before I had talked to a friend who is going through some of the hardest parts of the adoption process...the waiting, the not knowing, the part where you feel out of control. For our adoption stories, there were three times when I felt totally out of control. The first was when Dallin's birthmom disappeared for a month. We met her and then she went home for Christmas and decided to stay through the month of January. Her cell phone stopped working while she was away and all of sudden I had no information or contact with her. In her defense, she was enjoying spending time with friends and didn't realize that there was a very emotional woman craving any kind of contact and reassurance from her. Dallin's birthmom came back to my city at the beginning of February ready to have Dallin and everything was fine again. January was the worst though for me. Then there was a failed adoption between Dallin and Gavin. Flying out to another city and coming home empty handed is something I never want to repeat again. The last is getting the news that we needed to rush to Florida to pick up a baby without any warning. These are the hard parts of adoption. The parts where everything seems out of control.
Sealing day though is the compensation for all the hard parts. It is a celebration of forever families. You can imagine then my emotions as I sat between my two boys listening to my adoption music and thinking back to our story and how both boys came into our lives. Of course I shed a few tears. Dallin looked at me and asked why I was sad. I told him mommy was crying because she is extremely happy. Kind of confusing for a two year old. Then Dallin broke out singing this song.
"I love to see the temple. I'm going there some day. To feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray. For the temple is a house of God, a place of love and beauty. I'll prepare myself while I am young; this is my sacred duty."
Dallin doesn't know the second verse yet (and I was amazed he knew all the words to the first verse. He does listen!). The end of the chorus on the second verse says, "For the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together. As a child of God, I've learned this truth: A family is forever."
Listening to my two-year-old sing to me these words brought on a fresh wave of tears and Zane commenting that we haven't even entered the temple yet and maybe I should save some tears for inside. :) Although this is Gavin's special day, he won't remember it (although we took a lot of pictures). Dallin though may remember some of it and I got a chance to tell him all about his special day all over again. Love that.
(My talented sister-in-law Kara took pictures at the sealing. It will take her some time to go through all of them, so right now you will have to be content with my lame pictures. More will come though.)
Gavin in the car. Because he is rear facing and because it is such a tight fit in the back seat, I couldn't maneuver myself to get a picture with him.
Zane took this picture while he was stopped at a red light. Gavin is on the other side of me.
Another great memory was entering the temple together. I wish I could have caught this on camera. We walked hand in hand with Zane carrying Gavin into the temple together. Dallin was so excited to be able to go inside since we have talked and prepared him for this day for awhile. I, of course, was so happy to be going to the temple with my little family, that I cried. I always seem to have plenty of tears to shed.My mom met us inside and took the boys into the nursery area to get them dressed in their white clothes. Zane and I went to change and of course I got to go into the Brides room again. I felt so special!
The ceremony finally started with my family and lots of our friends joining us. My mom brought Dallin in and sat with him while he looked around the room studying everything and every person there. My dad brought Gavin in and held him by Zane and me. Gavin's middle name is my dad's name, so I wanted him to hold Gavin. I have to say that Gavin looked so handsome and angelic in his little outfit. He was very good during the ceremony although he was very interested in the crochet doily laying across the alter. Afterward Zane and I held our boys close and hugged each other. This was the best moment for me. Dallin told me I looked pretty and told Zane that he looked funny. Sorry Zane. He kept talking about how he and Gavin had white clothes on. After all our guests left the room, we tried to show Dallin the mirrors in the room, but all he kept saying was, "Where's Kara?" My little brother and his wife arrived the night before and he was excited to see them.
We took lots of pictures outside and then headed to my mom's house for a family luncheon. It was great to be together and celebrate Gavin becoming part of our forever family. We love you baby Gavin and feel so lucky to be your parents!
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