Super Mom

When I told one friend that I was home schooling her comment to me was that I was a Super Mom.  I laughed at this because well I'm far from that. Except though I felt like Super Mom after our last doctor's visit.

I took Lili into her 10 month appointment and since life is busy I decided to take the boys with us and get flu shots at the same time. Here's how it went down.

Since we are new patients, I had to fill out a lot of paperwork with two boys running around and a wiggly baby. Then there is the waiting. The waiting before being brought back to see the nurse, the waiting to see the doctor, and the waiting for the nurse to come back in for the immunizations. Waiting in a small room with my two boys is never enjoyable. I had the boys grab a couple of super hero toys to play with and some books. The super heroes eventually needed to fly around the room. There are also lots of drawers and cabinets to open which were very interesting to a certain 3 year old. The doctor had a lot of questions for me concerning my kids' history since this was our first time seeing her. The doctor finally got the hint that asking these questions while examining Lili and letting the boys "help" her was going to go a lot better than just sitting there talking to me while the boys became the super heroes flying around the room. 

Lili just needed her flu shot and that brought a nice break to the caos because the boys love watching their sister get a shot. They were sympathetic and kept saying, "It's ok Lili," but deep down they were thrilled to watch someone else get a shot. I had forgotten that the 9 month appointment is where they prick the heal to check for anemia. This doctor though just sent us over to the lab which was in the same building to have Lili's blood drawn through an IV. I wasn't quite expecting that. During the wait to get called back for the IV, Gavin decided to steal Dallin's sticker so of course Dallin stole Gavin's and ripped it. To get each other's stickers included some chasing and then the inevitable tears. I stayed calm throughout all this, gathered up the boys, and told Dallin to fix the problem. He knocked on the nurse's door to get a new sticker for Gavin and convinced her he needed a new one too. The kids were starting to get hungry now (we were at the doctor's a lot longer than I planned) so I pulled out the cheerios that I brought for Lili. Those of course were spilt on the floor by accident. By then the recpetionists were all starting to eye each other with that annoyed look on their face. I didn't let their looks bother me and calmly announced though that the boys were to help me pick up every cheerio. They picked up/slashed ate the cheerios off the floor. Luckily, Lili wasn't hungry for cheerios.

Getting blood from a baby is just a horrible thing to do. When Dallin was 2 months old and in the hospital, I sat in the corner crying while Zane held him down as they pricked and poke him multiple times trying to get the right vein. This time I had to hold Lili while making sure my three year old wasn't causing mischief and answering a very inquisitive 5 year old boy's questions about what the nurses were doing. The nurses were wonderful by helping. I'm glad Dallin asked so many questions because it kept me from crying. I'm really not good with needles and really have a hard time when my baby is being hurt.

After Lili's IV, it was time for the rest of us to get flu shots. Luckily we were able to get the flu mist and didn't have to see anymore needles. After some waiting, more questions by the inquisitive 5 year old, we were free to leave.

I'm a super mom because I survived. I didn't only survive, but I stayed calm throughout the visit and the real test was when we got into the car, I didn't yell at the boys bringing up all their misbehavior's. I did treat myself to some chocolate and would have given some to Lili too if she ate chocolate because she definitely earned it!

So here is to the Super Mom's who are just trying to get through each day calmly and patiently (or working towards calm and patience) doing the best they can!

Finding the Joy in Motherhood

I feel like since Lili was born, our family has just been hanging on. Lili is a fantastic baby, but three kids is just busy. Then of course I started teaching preschool again, both my church callings (my volunteer work) got extremely busy for a couple months, swim season hit, we started looking for a house to buy, we got our house ready to sell and then there was the craziness of selling, buying, packing and moving. Throw in birthdays and the day to day activities, and life has been a whirlwind. I can't believe my baby is almost 10 months old and crawling up stairs.

I feel like the last 9 months I relied heavily on play dates for the boys (someone else other than me occupying them so I can get things done) and the TV as a babysitter.

Since the move though things have changed. I couldn't organize play dates because we didn't know anyone. I couldn't go on outings with friends and let the kids all play together while mom's talked. Instead I had to be the entertainment while not knowing where anything was in our new house since there were boxes everywhere. I had my normal to do list unpacking being number one but other than that, other pressures disappeared. I'm not teaching preschool right now because we chose to home school Dallin for his Kindergarten year (another post will explain further), and volunteering with my church slowed way down as we adjusted to our new area. The stress of buying, selling, and moving were over. Life just calmed down and I started seeing the joy in being a mother again.

I find myself laughing more at my boys' silliness instead of getting frustrated by it. I'm more relaxed. Dallin makes up crazy games like jumping from the stairs onto the bean bag flying like superman.  It was pretty amazing. (We bought the trampoline soon after that game. When Zane asked why he was putting up a trampoline at 10 p.m. when there were so many other things on our to do list in our house, I just informed him that the trampoline had moved way up to number 1. The boys need a place to jump.) We sit around and try to make Lili laugh for the camera or just be amazed at the new things she is learning.  During the summer we swam together and now we jump together and even occasionally eat frozen pizza (which I never do) because sometimes playing is more important than cooking that day.

Sometimes we jump in the rain until we are laughing and are too wet to keep jumping.

I'm one lucky mom.

Happy Mother's Day

Agape is a Greek word for a particular type of love.  Agape’ love is love that is based upon principle and is, by far, the noblest type of love. Agape’ love is unselfish and is more than just an emotional response.  Briana Marie

I spend Mother's Day weekend thinking about my birthmom's with my heart filled with so much gratitude.  I always think about these special women in our lives, but on Mother's Day my heart is even fuller.  This morning I put on my special mommy bracelet that both Keslie (Dallin's birthmom) and I have.  A friend made one for each of us with Dallin's birthstone on it.  I feel a little closer to her when I wear it (Dallin's birthmom passed away a few years ago.) I hugged my boys and tried to smother them with kisses; they will get more throughout the day.  I became emotional during the musical number at church when all the Primary age kids got up to sing and for the first time, Dallin was up there singing to me.  I have the rest of the day where my husband and kids will honor me... but I want to honor my birthmoms.  I wouldn't have this awesome responsibility, experience the hugs and kisses, the funny moments and hair pulling frustrating moments without these two women.  They made me a mom. They changed my life.

Kelsie and Tracy- I honor you. You are our heroes, our angels sent straight from heaven.  We love you.  Thank you for sharing your boys.

Baby Tag

My sister did this tag and I thought, what the heck, I can do it too.

1- Where were you when you first found out you were pregnant?
At LDS Family Services

2- Who was with you?
Zane, Caseworker, and of course our birth mom!

3- How did you find out that you were pregnant?
Our case worker was sneaky and asked us to come in to update paper work. During our conversation, the door opened and in walked the most amazing person...our birth mom.

4- What was your first reaction to finding out you were pregnant?
Shaking, more shaking, and even more shaking (from both Zane and me) I think our birth mom thought we were stupid because we kept asking the same questions as we got to know her. My brain seemed to stop working and nothing was getting processed.

5- Who was the first person you told?
my mom and dad- they cried, we cried, lots of crying

6-Did you plan to get pregnant?
Well yes, we spent forever filling out the paper work!

7- Did you tell everyone else right away?
The rest of my family and special friends. I can't keep a secret.

8-Was everybody happy for you?
Lots of crying!

9- Did you go out and celebrate?
A little, but we were really scared too that this was too good to be true

10- Did you want to find out the sex?
Yes so that I could start painting!

11- What was the sex?
Boy; Our birth mom took me with her to the ultrasound where she found out the sex and I got to hear his heart beat. More tears...

12-Did anyone throw you a baby shower?
Yes, the biggest one ever! They had a committee and committee meetings to plan my baby shower. (I have wonderful friends!) My two friends made the greatest movie, a DVD of all my family members talking to me about how happy they were for us. More tears.... My coworkers also threw one for me about a month and a half after Dallin was born even though they were doing all this extra work covering for me while I was on maternity leave. Again, great friends.

13- If yes, who?
See above

14- Did you get any outfits at the baby shower that you just knew you weren't going to put on your baby?
No, we used it all (hopefully we can have another boy that will be able to actually wear them down as Dallin grew so quickly).

15- How much weight did you gain?
At my baby shower, everyone told me I looked great for being in my 3rd trimester!

16- Did you lose all of the weight that you gained?
Still working on it! Unfortunately, I have to lose my weight the hard way whereas my sister lost 10 pounds just by breastfeeding!

17- Did you get a lot of stretch marks?
Hmmm, no. What a relief!

18- What did you crave the most?
To be able to look in the future to know if this really was going to happen.

19- Did you crave anything crazy?
An angel coming down from Heaven telling me when and how a baby would come to our family so that I could know ahead of time, plan for it and have some CONTROL. That's not really crazy though right?

20- Who or what got on your nerves the most?
The waiting...really two months was way too long!

21- Were you married at the time you got pregnant?
Yes

22- Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?
My birth mom disappeared for a couple of weeks after Christmas. I would say that is a pretty big complication.

23.- Where were you when you went into labor?
Working, saying goodbye to my students, and then laying on the couch waiting for the phone to ring with any news.

24- Did your water break?
I sure hope not!

25- Who drove you to the hospital?
Zane and I went the next day together.

26- Did you go early or late?
In my opinion it took too long, but really Dallin came right on time.

27- Who was in the room with you when you gave birth?
Well, I was alone on the couch (Zane was still working...Dallin had to be born during busy season!) debating about putting Jane Eyre in to watch (Jane Eyre gets watched whenever I need to see someone who has a really depressing life. It gives me hope because I know my life is never as bad as hers. If Zane sees me watching Jane Eyre then he knows something is wrong!)

28- How long were you in labor for?
The anxiety lasted all day until about 9 at night when I got the call that Dallin was born and was healthy. That is also when our birth mom invited us to the hospital to see him the next day.

29- Did you have any drugs for the pain?
I wish they had drugs for the anxiety!

30-Did you go Natural or have a c-section?
If C stands for celebration, cheerfulness, craziness, confusion or concern then definitely a c-section (of course Dallin is really the only one that has had his stomach cut open).

31- What was your first reaction after giving birth?
When Dallin was placed in my arms by our birth mom after she terminated her rights, my heart was breaking for this girl who we loved so much. I couldn't believe how wonderful, selfless, and awesome she was.

32- How big was the baby(s)?
6 pounds 13 ounces

33- Did your Husband cry?
Like a baby. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, but who wouldn't cry?

34- What did you name the baby(s)?
Dallin Max

35- Does his name have any significant meaning?
We liked the name Dallin because it was a little unusual. Of course we heard the name from Dallin H. Oaks, the apostle and well, he is a great guy, so it must be a good name. Max is Zane's dad's name who is deceased.

36- Did you have any visitors?
Family and friends all came by over the next couple of weeks.

37- Did the baby(s) have any complications?
Not at birth, but he had pyloric stenosis which caused him to throw up a lot. He had surgery when he was a month and a half old. This was our hospital experience.

38- How old is your baby today?
11 months

39- When is the next one(s) coming?
Who knows, but we are working on the papers as we speak.

40- If you could, would you do it all over again?
Of course, although on the day when our birth mom terminated her rights, I told Zane Dallin was our one and only. I could never do this again, but it's like labor. With the passage of time, you seem to forget.

Finding Joy in the Journey

The talks in church today were on President Monson's conference address, “Finding Joy in the Journey.” A sister told a story about when she had three kids under the age of three and her experience at the grocery store (disaster). She explained what she learned from that experience; that there were things she just couldn't do any more with the stage of life that she was in (going out to eat with the kids, shopping, talking on the phone for more then five minutes etc). What she could do was focus on being a good mother and finding joy in this stage of life because those three kids were going to grow up fast and that stage would be over too soon.

I really appreciated her thoughts because they helped me feel better with my decision to quit teaching piano lessons. One day Zane and I were brainstorming ideas on how to make piano lessons easier with Dallin besides everything we had already tried. After much discussion, we realized this really wasn’t working out and wasn’t good for our family. Other moms I know have made it work and are great moms and piano teachers, but for Dallin and me, it wasn't working. The part of me that misses teaching and being with my students thinks that as a mom we sure give up a lot, and the other part of me thinks about those six years of waiting for Dallin, the fasting and praying, and the joy we felt when he was finally placed in our arms. This side always wins. How many times have I said in the last few months that Dallin is growing up way too fast (literally, he is huge!)? It is flying by and I don't want to miss a second of it. So I will miss making music with my students and being able to interact with them. I will miss talking with my students and laughing with them. I will miss the challenge of trying to find ways to make piano enjoyable. (The best is when a student came to piano lessons grumpy and left my house with a smile on their face. This is when I knew I made a difference.) I will miss it, but I'm finding joy in my journey with Dallin.

Since quitting, Dallin and I have taken more wagon rides, played with friends, played with toys, cooked dinner at a decent time, and yes ran some errands. There is less crying and less frustration all around…and he’s worth it!

Taking a ride with cousins Drew and baby Sam

Playing with cars.

Are boys born with the knowledge on how to throw a ball and that when you push a car, you say voom, voom? I'm always making animal sounds, and Dallin has not yet mimicked me on them, but when he pushes a car on the ground, he makes a voom, voom sound (well maybe not exactly that sound, but close enough.)

Library Time

Every Tuesday, my sister and I take our boys to the library for story time and nursery rhymes. They love it. Dallin mostly watches other kids and the hand movements. He is starting to be a little more daring and crawl away from Mom to see what other kids are doing. It is also a great time for the women to be a little social!

The Nobility of Motherhood

We had a lesson in church yesterday about the nobility of motherhood. When the teacher asked the class what we thought this phrase meant, I immediately thought of Dallin's birth mom. Dallin will grow up knowing that he has two moms. One mom carried him for nine months doing the best that she could to keep him healthy. She gave birth to him and then spent two days staring at him in the hospital loving him. I remember when Zane and I went to visit her in the hospital. I walked in and looked around the room for Dallin. She pulled back the sheet and there was Dallin cuddling with her in bed. Zane and I will never forget the meeting where she handed Dallin over to us. As she signed away her rights, she asked our caseworker if all birth moms love their baby this much. You can imagine the many tears flowing that day. So of course I thought of his birth mom yesterday during our class. She is a very noble woman who loved her son so much she wanted to give him more then she could offer. How special for Dallin knowing that the first major decision made in his life was all about love and sacrifice and all for him. How could I not think of her as I held Dallin in my lap during this lesson? It is because of her that I am a mother. Because of her, I get to experience every day with this little boy watching him grow, smile, and see the world. I get to experience the throw up and diaper changes. I get to experience it all with him. I'm grateful for all the noble birth moms out there who give couples like Zane and me a chance to experience the joy of being a parent.