Lili's Sealing Day

After our adoptions our finalized, we can go to the temple as a family. It is in this ceremony where an officiator who holds the Priesthood unites our family for all eternity. Zane and I were married in this temple 12 years ago and now all three of our kids have been sealed to us in this temple.

One of my favorite parts of our sealing days is right before entering the temple. Our family is excited, happy, and loving as we drive then walk into the temple. There is peace. No one is fighting. Everyone is calm. This rarely happens in our house. :) This time we all held hands as we walked in with me carrying Lili and I just felt an overwhelming love for my family.

By the time the ceremony starts, the feeling of calmness in the boys has left. It is always short lived with them. In the temple we dress in white clothes.  Zane and I knelt at the alter and Dallin and Gavin (also dressed in white) stood near the alter.  My mom placed Lili's hand on ours and the ceremony was performed (like a marriage ceremony). After it was over, our sealer mentioned that it was the first time he has seen the alter used as a trampoline. Gavin wanted to get as close to me as possible so stood on the cushion part of alter (where we kneel) and started jumping. Reverence is a problem that we constantly work on. We stood together as a family looking in a mirror that reflects another mirror behind us. While looking in this mirror, our family is reflected on and on looking like it goes on forever.

By the time we are dressed and outside to take pictures, the kids have had it. No longer are they filled with peace and love. Instead all they can think about is walking around the fountain and playing with their cousins. This makes taking pictures of this memorable day a little hard!

Picture with our family and friends who joined us in the temple.

My immediate family minus my brother Jared and his family and my sister Lindsey and her husband.

Trying to get the boys to hold still long enough for pictures is very difficult. Trying to get Lili to smile is nearly impossible.

The best picture of the day...Lili will always smile at her dad.

 

 Fun snapshots...Gavin loves her cousin Ellery

Love this picture with Grandma!

One handsome kid (Grandpa tied his tie :)

Who is also a very silly boy!


Our big one year old on her special day!

Notes to remember:

Lili was sealed to us on Novermber 30th on her 1st birthday

The sealer was Brother Steward.

My dad and Matt were witnesses.

A Very Pink Christmas

 We were away from home 22 days.  That is a long vacation with a preemie and two crazy boys.  We didn't think we were going to make it back for Christmas.  Our caseworker kept telling us that the government officials who give us permission to leave were already on Christmas vacation and we probably wouldn't get clearance until January after the holidays.  Then we received one of the best Christmas presents.  We got a phone call late Thursday the 20th night that we were allowed to leave.  As much as we enjoyed our time in Utah, we were grateful to be home for Christmas!

We said goodbye to these awesome people (Jake, our brother-in-law, was on a business trip the last week probably to get away from our family!)  Zane and I are forever grateful for Toni and Jake's generosity and patience.  Staying at their house was an answer to prayers and made our adoption situation so much easier.

 We started the two day drive home on Friday morning.  I wish I could say this is how the boys looked going home.  In actuality, I think Dallin is faking sleeping in this picture because if one brother fell asleep, then the other one did everything in their power to wake them up.  Mostly we watched movies the whole way home to keep me sane as trying to entertain the boys without a movie involved fighting and a headache.

 Liliane did sleep the whole way home.  She doesn't like her carseat, but as long as the car is moving, she slept soundly and wins the prize for being the best behaved.

There is nothing more exhausting then driving two days straight with two energetic boys and a baby who keeps you up at night.  We planned on making stops on the way home to let the boys run around, but it was 18 degrees in Southern Utah.  By the time we got home, it was late and all Zane and I wanted to do was climb in bed.  I kept thinking that I should have called my mom to tell her to set up my baby swing so that I had a place to put Liliane while we got the boys to bed since she hates her car seat and she didn't have a bed set up (we left in a rush and I don't do much to prepare for a baby since a birthmom can always change her mind.  It is too painful to take things back or put away.)  When we pulled into our driveway, Zane exclaimed that he could see a Christmas tree through the front window.

Our friends and family had been busy!

I felt really bad for whoever pulled down the tree from the attic because it isn't an easy task.  I'm sure our names were being cursed.  The boys were so excited though to have a tree!

We were also greeted with this sign (in the darkness of course) plus other signs in the yard

 Our house was covered in pink with treats too!

 And the best treat, a place to put Lily as we unloaded.  It is like my family and friends knew exactly what we would need and provided.  I even had some fresh vegetables in my fridge. 

I was so touched by the many hands that welcomed us home from a very long journey.  We definitely felt loved (and I of course cried happy tears)!

Waiting

When Liliane left the hospital, the process to allow to leave Utah and return home began.  A week and a half later and we are still waiting for permission to leave.  This wouldn't be a big deal normally.  We would just enjoy our vacation.  But we are going on three weeks now (which is definitely taking advantage of my sister-in-laws kindness in letting us stay) and we have a preemie baby we are trying to keep healthy (she is doing wonderful by the way.)  Zane and I have established our daily routine where Zane works from home and takes care of Liliane while I entertain the boys.  We have had friends invite us over for play dates, ran lots of errands, and tried out the children's museum.  This routine seems really off for a mom with a newborn, but keeping the boys busy makes everything easier!  The children's museum provided plenty of busyness and tons of fun!

This waiting process has been made easier by Zane's oldest sister and her family.  My boys are at an age that is hard to be around for a long period of time, they're busy, energetic, and messy.  My nephews are enough years older than my boys that they are super patient, willing to share, and really help entertain my kids.  My boys have loved staying at their house.  They wake up in the morning excited to play and see their cousins off to school screaming bye to them.  They wait anxiously all day for their cousins to come home.  They love wrestling with Uncle Jake and ever since Dallin found out that Jake has a real gun in the house (locked up of course), Dallin thinks he is the coolest.  His prayer every night includes, "Thank you that Jake has a real gun."  My 16 year old niece who is really busy with dance and friends is so sweet with the boys and even wrestles with Dallin.  And of course Aunt Toni has shot up on the favorite scale.  Gavin especially loves his Aunt Toni.  She is super patient with us and our situation.  I'm not sure how we could ever repay their kindness to us.

Sweet Baby Girl

Liliane Joy (pronounced Lily Anne) made an early arrival arriving at 35 weeks weighing 4 pounds 3 oz and 15 inches long on November 30th at 7:38 a.m.   We heard the news a few hours later as we were starting our long drive to Utah. 

 The labor for me though started the Sunday before while at church when this anxious feeling came over me.  It had been a week and a half since talking to our caseworker and I just felt that something wasn't right.  Monday morning though the caseworker let me know everything was fine and things were moving forward.

I'm sure there are a lot of techniques to help women handle contractions better.  My sister has read books about it as she keeps delivering her babies naturally.  For me, I handle "laboring" by cleaning.  The anxious feeling was back by Tuesday and so I cleaned the house.  I cleaned some more on Wednesday waiting for the caseworker to call about our birthmom's doctor's appointment.  Finally late in the afternoon the call came saying the baby hadn't grown in the last week and the doctor was worried.  He felt like baby girl would do better out of the womb and he scheduled the c-section a day later.  The caseworker also let us know that baby girl was weighing 4 pounds and that she felt it was wise to not leave until the baby was born so that we had a better idea of what health issue we were looking at.

I don't know much about pregnancy and delivering a baby.  I hear things like "stop growing," "4 pounds," "NICU" and I start panicking.  Luckily I had some great friends who talked me through what everything meant and lots of prayers being sent our way. One friend reminded me that I knew God had watched over and protected my miraculous boys and I would see the hand of God again in watching over Liliane.  She of course is right.

I also handle "labor" by having the inability to function.  When we got the call about Gavin, Zane did most of the packing and I did most of the crying. I was too overwhelmed and stressed to function.  I handled Liliane's labor better and did get a lot of the packing done Thursday night, but I didn't cancel preschool that morning so that I could put off the stress of getting ready and thinking about all my worries (health concerns, being in Utah for a month or more etc).  I had a fieldtrip planned and needed the distraction and something to keep my kids busy.

Zane worked late Thursday night trying to tie up loose ends, so we weren't able to get as much done and leave as early on Friday.  A wonderful friend took my kids Friday morning and Zane and I finished packing like crazy (we packed so fast that we forgot some key items).  We were on our way by 11a.m. trying to get 12 hours in that day.

Three things I'm really grateful for: smart phones so that we could get updates and give updates about the birthmom and baby, DVD players in cars, and swivel chairs.

 Driving with two boys for 24 hours isn't fun.  I couldn't convince them that the car ride went faster when they took naps in the car.  We heard a lot of, "Is it day 2 yet?" or  "Are we almost there?".  We survived though and late Saturday evening we drove in.

We met with the caseworker on Sunday and signed paperwork, paid money etc.  Then we were taken to see our birthmom and our baby girl.  Meeting with a birthmom is always emotional.  It is hard to know what to say to express our gratitude and happiness while she is mourning the baby she just relinquished rights to.  Liliane is named after both her birthmom and me.  We both have Anne in our names so we wanted a name with Anne in it so that Liliane knew she was part of both of us.

We then met this beautiful, tiny little baby and I almost fainted.  Zane and I along with our extended family were fasting for Liliane that day.  I think the lack of food, seeing how tiny she is, the IV in her (I'm not good with needles), and the hospital smell was too much for me right then.  We have had some very stressful days without a lot of sleep, and it hit me right then as I looked at my baby girl.  I had to sit down and put my head between my legs then grab a juice box to get some sugar in me.  How awful would that have been to faint while everyone was fussing over Liliane getting her bundled up and away from the heating lamp so that we could hold her.  I'm glad I know what it feels like to faint and could get off my feet quickly!

Because of the whole almost fainting thing, Zane held Liliane first.

 Starting tomorrow, we can come and go from the hospital as much as we want.  Hopefully Zane and I can take turns being there for the feedings.  Liliane needs to gain weight, eat well, and control her temperature before she can leave.  Her doctor is saying she will be in NICU for a week if everything goes well.  After Liliane is discharged, then we wait for the state to give us permission to leave which could take 7 to 10 days.

The boys are excited to meet Liliane.  When we got back from the hospital, Dallin asked if we left Liliane in the car.  Meanwhile, they are loving the attention from their cousins and playing with their awesome toys!