Adoption Process Part III: We're Pregnant...Kind Of

Click for Part I and Part II

We are finally here.  We got the official approval today meaning we can start being shown to birth moms.  In the last two adoption posts, I have been comparing the adoption process to pregnancy, and in my mind, getting the official you are approved is like seeing the positive pregnancy test.  You could also argue actually being picked by the birthmom is a better comparison, but in my mind, that is when labor starts (at least a labor of the heart).  I've mentioned before that the process and paperwork leading up to this point has been longer and harder than our other two adoptions.  There are many reasons for that, but suffice it to say, we were thrilled to finally see our profile online (which you can check out here.  Feel free to also send anyone you know interested in placing a baby for adoption to that site too!  We will soon have a button on the blog linking to this site.)  Before discussing where we go from here, I thought I would tell a little about the homestudy.

Homestudy- where your house is the cleanest you have seen it including cleaning supplies up high and completely baby proofing your house, where you pray that your kids are on their best behavior, and you are asked questions that are hard to answer because you are trying to put yourselves in the best light but look humble.  Oh and how do you rate your marriage on the scale of 1-10? 

We have had many caseworkers in our home so we weren't worried about this homestudy except that Dallin is now old enough to be interviewed...on his own.  This was hard to prepare for because you can't say, "Please don't mention that mommy sometimes yells at you," because he will for sure mention that then.  Zane and I were in another room sweating during that interview.  Dallin did fine though except for mentioning that he only wants a baby sister and not a baby brother.  Zane, Gavin, and I are open to either a boy or a girl, Dallin is not.  Our other worry during this homestudy was how the boys will behave during all the questions and showing off of our house.  Dallin was very excited to show our social worker his loft bed.  This social worker is a mother of two young girls.  I gathered from the conversation they are sweet, calm girls.  The social worker walked into Dallin's room right as he jumped off of his loft bed (5 feet off the ground) onto the bean bags.   She was a little shocked.

Our plan from this point is to have our agency send our homestudy report to two other agencies in Utah, A Guardian Angel and Heart and Soul Adoptions.  Our Adoption Profile will be shown to birthmoms and birthdads and we wait to be picked.

Doing the paperwork for adoption is tedious, time consuming, and frustrating, but the waiting part is just hard.  This is the time where you can start having contact with birth moms emailing you and asking questions.  Every time we have contact with a birth mom our hope starts to rise.  We could also be picked by a birth mom and then she could change her mind (which she has every right to do). Even worse, you fly out to pick up your baby and then the birth mom changes her mind (or in our case, the birth father refuses to sign...again he has every right to do this) and you find yourself walking through an airport with an empty car seat and stroller and people looking to check out your baby only to be surprised that your purse it sitting in the baby's spot.  We may be waiting 6 months or a year before we are picked or like in the case with Gavin (once we switched to a new agency), two days.

The good news about going in for number three is that I have two boys who keep me very busy and occupied so that I don't go crazy wondering how every thing is going to work out.  I have had two  amazing birthmoms and two wonderful adoption experiences that testify to me that God has a hand in this journey and something miraculous is on the horizon for our family.