We knew this day would come. Honestly, I thought it would last five years at the most, so we should count our blessings that we got an extra year and a half together.
Yesterday, Jared and Kari moved away from us. They didn't just move to another city, they got on a plane and moved to another country to start a new adventure. I am excited for them. Honestly. But I have also shed many tears this last week.
Growing up I never imagined I would live so close to so many of my siblings. I especially never thought three of us would all be in the same ward together. It all started 6 1/2 year ago when Zane graduated from college and we moved back to where I grew up. Zane had landed a wonderful job and we were starting our grownup life together with college behind us. We moved at Christmas time and found a house in January of 2005. We actually were deciding on two houses and over Christmas break Jared announced they were pregnant and were leaving downtown to buy a house. They looked at our second choice house and were sold on it (I think Kari made Jared look at a few other houses but he was probably just going through the emotions of it.) We moved in on the same day a street apart from each other. Jared and Zane immediately started their busy season, and Kari and I were left to the unpacking and the loneliness of being without a husband. We relied on each other to help put up pictures, someone to talk to, and eventually someone to eat dinner with. I just hated cooking for just myself (the boys eat at work during busy season), and so we started our rotation of eating at each other's houses. Kari and I became fast friends.
I have always felt like I needed Kari more than she needed me. She is a great listener and I love to talk. I would say that within a few months she became one of my best friends, someone I could always turn to whenever I needed something.
I hope she got something out of the relationship too. She and Jared got free babysitting quite a bit before we got Dallin. They had the perfect situation, the aunt and uncle living down the street with no children who loved spending time with their nephew. There again though, I probably benefited more. I wanted so desperately to have children and she shared her son with me. When the girls at church talked about being mothers, I had nothing to say, so I would tell Drew stories. She never cared. Kari's recovery after having Drew was very difficult for quite awhile and she needed a lot of help. I remember taking him for a walk to my house one afternoon after work and realizing how much I loved my nephew. It was at that moment that I first felt like I could adopt. Zane and I were so focused on getting me pregnant, that we hadn't thought much about adoption. We never thought that would be our path. I realized at that moment that maybe it would be our path and that I could definitely love a baby that wasn't born to me.
Kari was a huge help during the infertility years. She helped give me shots, encouraged and celebrated with me as I learned to give myself my shots, and was a fantastic listener when I needed someone. I have been so grateful over and over again that Jared married a nurse!
Just like the story of Ruth and Naomi from the Bible, I have followed Kari throughout our service in the church. She would be asked to serve in the young women's program, a year or two later, I would be asked to help too. When she was asked to serve in the Relief Society (women’s organization), I followed a year later. We did girl's camp together, meetings, visits, and there was a moment during one horrible young women’s lesson about mothers (ok, it was probably a great lesson, but at that moment, it was too much for me to bear when I needed a shoulder to cry on desperately. I held it in until most of the YW had left, but I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer as I searched for Zane so I ran over to Kari, put my head on her shoulder, and bawled. She hugged me, cared about me, and let me bawl. Kari is never judgmental and always knowing what to say.
I remember specifically telling Jared and Kari that a birthmom picked us to adopt Dallin. I remember it because of their reaction. They were so excited for us. The night we brought him home, I can't remember who was there first to celebrate with us Kari or Haley. Kari has acted like a sister for so long now.
We have shared a lot of things over the years. In the beginning, Jared didn't have a lawn mower and we didn't have...(we can't remember because we didn't use his for very long) so we traded and shared. You can imagine a Saturday morning one of us pushing the lawn mower down the street to each other's house so we could share it. I'm sure we impressed the neighbors. We didn't have satellite TV for a long time, so we would go to Jared's to watch Conference, Lost, So You Think You Can Dance and other shows that didn't come in very clearly on our TV.
Kari and I continued trading cooking off and on over the years even when our husbands weren't working late so that we didn't have to cook as much. Kari and I got a little girl time in and Jared and Zane got a little sport time in. Four years ago Haley moved out by us. She eventually started cooking with us and we started our three time a week rotation. We didn't always stay and eat as our families grew and life got more hectic, but we all saw each other and talked together almost every day.
I haven't talked much about my brother Jared. I will miss him too but he knows all that and saying it makes him conceited. Besides, he didn't even get a little emotional saying goodbye and even looked at me like I was a little silly. I will miss our talks, our banter back in forth, and his hugs that are far and few in between, but are great when I really need one.
As I walked around their empty house, I realized I was sad for changes that are happening because I know things will never be the same again. Even without Jared leaving, changes were coming. Our dinners were going to end eventually because it was getting too hectic, and both Haley and I have been talking about moving to bigger homes as we are getting squished out of ours. When Kari and Jared come back in two years, who knows where we will all be. It was good while it lasted and I love and miss my neighbors already.
On the upside, my little brother is moving about four hours from us and he too is a nurse. I haven't forgotten that when Kari left the country a month ago to find a house, Gavin landed himself in the ER. At least I will have my little brother although his knowledge on pediatrics needs to pick up! I might just have to Facetime Kari with my questions and hope I don't catch her in the middle of the night!
Gavin with his best friend Alex. When they see each other, they get soooo excited! It is stickin cute.
I have always felt like I needed Kari more than she needed me. She is a great listener and I love to talk. I would say that within a few months she became one of my best friends, someone I could always turn to whenever I needed something.
I hope she got something out of the relationship too. She and Jared got free babysitting quite a bit before we got Dallin. They had the perfect situation, the aunt and uncle living down the street with no children who loved spending time with their nephew. There again though, I probably benefited more. I wanted so desperately to have children and she shared her son with me. When the girls at church talked about being mothers, I had nothing to say, so I would tell Drew stories. She never cared. Kari's recovery after having Drew was very difficult for quite awhile and she needed a lot of help. I remember taking him for a walk to my house one afternoon after work and realizing how much I loved my nephew. It was at that moment that I first felt like I could adopt. Zane and I were so focused on getting me pregnant, that we hadn't thought much about adoption. We never thought that would be our path. I realized at that moment that maybe it would be our path and that I could definitely love a baby that wasn't born to me.
Kari was a huge help during the infertility years. She helped give me shots, encouraged and celebrated with me as I learned to give myself my shots, and was a fantastic listener when I needed someone. I have been so grateful over and over again that Jared married a nurse!
Just like the story of Ruth and Naomi from the Bible, I have followed Kari throughout our service in the church. She would be asked to serve in the young women's program, a year or two later, I would be asked to help too. When she was asked to serve in the Relief Society (women’s organization), I followed a year later. We did girl's camp together, meetings, visits, and there was a moment during one horrible young women’s lesson about mothers (ok, it was probably a great lesson, but at that moment, it was too much for me to bear when I needed a shoulder to cry on desperately. I held it in until most of the YW had left, but I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer as I searched for Zane so I ran over to Kari, put my head on her shoulder, and bawled. She hugged me, cared about me, and let me bawl. Kari is never judgmental and always knowing what to say.
I remember specifically telling Jared and Kari that a birthmom picked us to adopt Dallin. I remember it because of their reaction. They were so excited for us. The night we brought him home, I can't remember who was there first to celebrate with us Kari or Haley. Kari has acted like a sister for so long now.
We have shared a lot of things over the years. In the beginning, Jared didn't have a lawn mower and we didn't have...(we can't remember because we didn't use his for very long) so we traded and shared. You can imagine a Saturday morning one of us pushing the lawn mower down the street to each other's house so we could share it. I'm sure we impressed the neighbors. We didn't have satellite TV for a long time, so we would go to Jared's to watch Conference, Lost, So You Think You Can Dance and other shows that didn't come in very clearly on our TV.
Kari and I continued trading cooking off and on over the years even when our husbands weren't working late so that we didn't have to cook as much. Kari and I got a little girl time in and Jared and Zane got a little sport time in. Four years ago Haley moved out by us. She eventually started cooking with us and we started our three time a week rotation. We didn't always stay and eat as our families grew and life got more hectic, but we all saw each other and talked together almost every day.
I haven't talked much about my brother Jared. I will miss him too but he knows all that and saying it makes him conceited. Besides, he didn't even get a little emotional saying goodbye and even looked at me like I was a little silly. I will miss our talks, our banter back in forth, and his hugs that are far and few in between, but are great when I really need one.
As I walked around their empty house, I realized I was sad for changes that are happening because I know things will never be the same again. Even without Jared leaving, changes were coming. Our dinners were going to end eventually because it was getting too hectic, and both Haley and I have been talking about moving to bigger homes as we are getting squished out of ours. When Kari and Jared come back in two years, who knows where we will all be. It was good while it lasted and I love and miss my neighbors already.
On the upside, my little brother is moving about four hours from us and he too is a nurse. I haven't forgotten that when Kari left the country a month ago to find a house, Gavin landed himself in the ER. At least I will have my little brother although his knowledge on pediatrics needs to pick up! I might just have to Facetime Kari with my questions and hope I don't catch her in the middle of the night!
Sam taking the boys down!
At the zoo together. I'm not sure what Dallin is doing, but Drew and Sam know how to pose!
3 comments:
Well, you made me cry. I know that isn't saying much but I know how hard it is to have someone you love move far away. Luckily family never gets lost in the shuffle. Yes, the end of an era. It is worth the tears.
I finally got a chance to sit down and read this now that we got our internet up and working. I always told people how spoiled I was having you down the street from me. The first night we were in this new house, I broke down asking Jared, "What did we do? What did we give up back home to come here? I wanna go home!" Thank you for summarizing the last 6 1/2 years for me--it was great to look back and remember the good times, the bad times, and how much we've grown from them. You guys were true blessings for us in so many ways. Although we probably won't ever live down the street from each other again, I'm planning on staying as close as we've always been! Love and miss you!
I'm glad you and Kari are so close! That is awesome! I wish I was closer to my sister-in-laws but when you live in different states it makes it hard. Here is hoping that this new era is wonderful for you too!
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