Our Decision to Home School

 The decision to home school was made after a lot of thought and prayers. I spent Dallin's Pre-K year wrestling with what I wanted to do for his schooling. Like many important decisions I have made, I felt guided by God in making this one. I don't believe home schooling is for everyone. I don't believe I'm some amazing mom because I chose to home school (I definitely don't feel like one). What I do believe is this was right for Dallin.

Dallin is full of energy and enthusiasm. His energy makes him a really fun kid to play with. I think his energy will help him in sports and it will help him later in life be able to get a lot done. As a five year old boy though, his energy makes him a hard kid to teach. I never felt good about sending Dallin to an all day Kindergarten where he would do a lot of sitting. I didn't feel like this type of setting was conducive to his type of learning. Because I teach him at home, we can go for a bike ride in the morning, do some learning, jump on trampoline, do more school, enjoy some play time, and then do more school. Even while we are doing school, there is usually a lot of jumping around the room. In a one-on-one setting, I can handle jumping around.

Dallin's play is very active and big. He has never been one to play quietly with toys. His play usually involves jumping, flips, and tricks. Paper towel rolls became a fun toy one day.

Flipping

He can get pretty crazy with his body while he plays.

I think Dallin would really enjoy learning Parkour or doing American Ninja Warrior.

When I taught Dallin pre-K with 7 other friends, I would get so frustrated with him. Then I would get frustrated at the situation because I was teaching Pre-K for him but because 7 other friends were there, I couldn't tailor the education to him so that he could be successful. I don't regret teaching pre-K because Dallin learned so much by being with his friends but I love how I can now meet his needs better. For a long time I felt like Dallin had a hard time focusing. I couldn't get him to focus on handwriting or learning how to read. I even had one doctor throw out ADHD after a doctor's visit (really doesn't any kid look like they have ADHD after being shut in a tiny doctor's room for an hour?). Dallin doesn't have a hard time focusing on topics he is interested in though. We can read books about space, crocodiles, the inner workings of bodies etc for a long time without any fighting or reminders to stay focused. Now as his teacher, I pick themes to learn about that he is interested in. We make up word problems together to practice adding all about crocodiles. A year ago I would have said Dallin doesn't have any interest in learning. I would hear about kids who would cruise through work books which Dallin would never have done.  Now, Dallin is so excited about school and thirsts for knowledge because I've tailored his education to meet his needs and learning style (which definitely isn't work books!).

Here we are visiting the Butterfly museum with some friends. Bugs, snakes, scorpions... anything creepy and crawling becomes part of our lessons!

After Lili came a year ago, things got pretty rough at our house. Three kids threw me for a loop. We couldn't get out and play as much and release the energy. Dallin hit a wall with his reading and wouldn't progress. We were fighting over everything. Looking back I realize one of the main problems was with myself. I was comparing Dallin constantly to other kids and he was always coming up short instead of celebrating his gifts. During my search for help, I came across a couple of books discussing right brained kids. This opened a whole new world for Zane and me as we saw Dallin in a different light. Many right brained children can succeed in school just fine despite the schools teaching in a left brain manner. Other kids struggle and usually have labels put on them like dyslexia or ADHD at a early age. I'm not saying there isn't such a thing as dyslexia and other learning difficulties (I did teach mild/moderate special education for 6 years), but I do think more and more kids are being labeled at early ages where if they were taught in their style of learning they would thrive. I didn't want Dallin to be labeled or struggle with behavior because he couldn't release his energy and then hate school and learning. I also felt like his gifts couldn't be utilized in school like I could at home.

When I started doing research on how right brained children learn, we discovered many of Dallin's gifts including his magic brain. Dallin has a great memory and we like to play lots of games to improve this and to give Dallin confidence since I usually end up begging for him to give me a little of his magic brain so I can be as cool as him. When I teach Dallin a new word, I write the word out in different colors, sometimes draw pictures in the letters, and use the words in silly sentences. This glues the word into his brain. If he can visualize the word, then he has it. He can read it and spell it forwards and backwards. There are so many times we are doing a math problem or discovering something and he comes up with a conclusion while skipping many steps and I ask how in the world he knew that. His response is always, "Magic brain."
(I bought Dianne Craft's sight word flashcards and a few other products that support Dallin's type of learning and I'm loving them! I wish I had this information when I was teaching special education.)

There are pros and cons to home schooling. I love the freedom that home schooling provides. My sister-in-law has been pretty sick with her pregnancy, and so I took the kids and we drove out to help her. Because I'm teaching one on one, I feel like I can get a lot more done in a shorter amount of time. I can also make sure Dallin is doing his best work and again tailoring his education to him. I also like how Dallin has more time to spend with his siblings. He is a really good big brother and a great helper. I don't believe home schooling is just about academics. I have the time to teach Dallin other skills too.

Dallin teaching Gavin using Starfall.

My two biggest worries about home schooling were meeting Dallin's social needs (he is a very social child and would love to have a friend over every second of the day) and teaching him with two other kids in the house. We are part of a home school coop which we do social activities with. My friend and I also started a Friday Fun Day group where we rotate homes on Friday's for an art class, music class (I teach this one), and a science class. The last Friday of the month is field trip day. There are six kids in his group and I love having different teachers for Dallin.

Dallin at his science class. He was the only kid who wanted to dig through the pumpkin.

We converted our media room to the school room.

 Zane and I decided we didn't need a media room right now while our kids are small but having a separate room where we can shut the doors to keep kids out was important. We also wanted a room without toy distractions. I teach Dallin and Gavin together (although Gavin can be very distracting at times) and then when Gavin is napping or doing quiet time, I work with Dallin individually. This is probably the hardest part of homeschooling since it is on my mind all day and takes up any time I would usually use for myself. It is worth it though since Dallin is doing so well.

I'm not sure what is going to happen next year. Zane and I decided we would look at each year and decide what is best for our family. Right now, we are happy with how things are going.

A Letter to Lili on Your Finalization Day

Dear Liliane,
Today is finalization day. You are our little girl. You were always ours, but now it is official. We have been waiting for this day for a long time. We thought we would finalize four months ago and although we weren't worried your adoption would fall through, we are thrilled to have everything official.

With Dallin we went to the courthouse to finalize. Gavin's adoption was finalized over the phone at the notary's office. Your finalization happened a few states away without any of our involvement. Our part took place a week earlier when we went to Dad's work to use his notary to witness our signing and then to have lunch with Dad. The only thing different about today was waiting anxiously for the phone call giving us the good news while smothering you with hugs and kisses knowing that a few states away papers were being signed and you were given our name.

Your middle name is Joy. This is a special name as many of the women in our family have this name including me. It also describes how we felt when we were chosen to be your parents. You have brought so much joy to our lives. From the moment we saw you our family was smitten. You were so tiny and fragile. You seemed so helpless hooked up to wires and a feeding tube. Who knew that such a little thing could have so much strength in her. You are one tough girl!

 

 I have loved looking through all your pictures. There are a lot of pictures of your big brothers loving on you. Sometimes they love on you too much and I'm sorry for that. It doesn't help that you are so petite. Even a 2 year old can carry a four pound baby! You captured their heart though. They will be your protector and hopefully a good example for you. You bring out their sweet and tender side and boy do I love that! You love your brothers too. You watch their every move and if you hear them while I'm feeding you, you immediately spit out the bottle so that you can wiggle to the ground and get to them. I hope you three always have a good relationship.

 We have spent a lot of time playing dress ups. There are sure a lot of pictures with you wearing frilly dresses and big bows. I have to work hard during these photo shoots for a smile. You don't just smile at anyone. It has to be earned. Maybe it is because you get so much attention where ever we go. We get stopped by at least 3 people in a store commenting how cute you are. I'm sure you are thinking, "I know already. Now can I please just eat my cheerios!"

Thanks for putting up with my silliness in dressing you up in clothes that are hard to crawl in and bows that get annoying.  Please continue to be patient with me as I continue to learn how to do your hair. We will spend a lot of time together doing hair. I look forward to our girl time-- just you and me.

I also love watching your relationship with your dad develop. You will get pretty angry if he doesn't come to you right when he gets home from work and play with you. Your smiles come more often around your dad and when you are having a rough night, he has the ability to come you down and get you back to sleep. Your dad is an amazing man and I hope you are always close.

I couldn't end this letter without talking about your birthmom. We love her so much and are so grateful for the decision she made to let us raise you. We gave you the name Liliane because she also has Ann in her name. She is a part of you and we hope you are as courageous as she. The Ann part of your name also refers back to me too. Please know that the mom who gave you life and the mom who is raising you both love you dearly.

The next month is going to be an exciting one. Your baby blessing is this Sunday and then we will go to the temple as a family in November. Oh how we are looking forward to your temple sealing because sweetie...nothing is really official until you are ours forever.

Love, 

Mom

Super Mom

When I told one friend that I was home schooling her comment to me was that I was a Super Mom.  I laughed at this because well I'm far from that. Except though I felt like Super Mom after our last doctor's visit.

I took Lili into her 10 month appointment and since life is busy I decided to take the boys with us and get flu shots at the same time. Here's how it went down.

Since we are new patients, I had to fill out a lot of paperwork with two boys running around and a wiggly baby. Then there is the waiting. The waiting before being brought back to see the nurse, the waiting to see the doctor, and the waiting for the nurse to come back in for the immunizations. Waiting in a small room with my two boys is never enjoyable. I had the boys grab a couple of super hero toys to play with and some books. The super heroes eventually needed to fly around the room. There are also lots of drawers and cabinets to open which were very interesting to a certain 3 year old. The doctor had a lot of questions for me concerning my kids' history since this was our first time seeing her. The doctor finally got the hint that asking these questions while examining Lili and letting the boys "help" her was going to go a lot better than just sitting there talking to me while the boys became the super heroes flying around the room. 

Lili just needed her flu shot and that brought a nice break to the caos because the boys love watching their sister get a shot. They were sympathetic and kept saying, "It's ok Lili," but deep down they were thrilled to watch someone else get a shot. I had forgotten that the 9 month appointment is where they prick the heal to check for anemia. This doctor though just sent us over to the lab which was in the same building to have Lili's blood drawn through an IV. I wasn't quite expecting that. During the wait to get called back for the IV, Gavin decided to steal Dallin's sticker so of course Dallin stole Gavin's and ripped it. To get each other's stickers included some chasing and then the inevitable tears. I stayed calm throughout all this, gathered up the boys, and told Dallin to fix the problem. He knocked on the nurse's door to get a new sticker for Gavin and convinced her he needed a new one too. The kids were starting to get hungry now (we were at the doctor's a lot longer than I planned) so I pulled out the cheerios that I brought for Lili. Those of course were spilt on the floor by accident. By then the recpetionists were all starting to eye each other with that annoyed look on their face. I didn't let their looks bother me and calmly announced though that the boys were to help me pick up every cheerio. They picked up/slashed ate the cheerios off the floor. Luckily, Lili wasn't hungry for cheerios.

Getting blood from a baby is just a horrible thing to do. When Dallin was 2 months old and in the hospital, I sat in the corner crying while Zane held him down as they pricked and poke him multiple times trying to get the right vein. This time I had to hold Lili while making sure my three year old wasn't causing mischief and answering a very inquisitive 5 year old boy's questions about what the nurses were doing. The nurses were wonderful by helping. I'm glad Dallin asked so many questions because it kept me from crying. I'm really not good with needles and really have a hard time when my baby is being hurt.

After Lili's IV, it was time for the rest of us to get flu shots. Luckily we were able to get the flu mist and didn't have to see anymore needles. After some waiting, more questions by the inquisitive 5 year old, we were free to leave.

I'm a super mom because I survived. I didn't only survive, but I stayed calm throughout the visit and the real test was when we got into the car, I didn't yell at the boys bringing up all their misbehavior's. I did treat myself to some chocolate and would have given some to Lili too if she ate chocolate because she definitely earned it!

So here is to the Super Mom's who are just trying to get through each day calmly and patiently (or working towards calm and patience) doing the best they can!

Look Who Lost His First Tooth!

For a week now, Dallin has been really proud and consumed by his lose tooth. So consumed that he couldn't sleep at times because it was "so wiggly."  Yesterday after eating a caramel apple, it wasn't so wiggly anymore. Dallin didn't even notice that he lost it. I actually thought he swallowed it and we started writing the Tooth Fairy a letter since there wasn't a tooth to put under the pillow. Then I noticed a small tooth that looked like a piece of apple on the table. He must have spit it out when he felt something hard as he chewed happily on his apple. The Tooth Fairy arrived in the night and this boy was a happy camper this morning asking if he could bring his quarter to church to show everyone. Luckily the quarter stayed home, but Dallin must of showed everyone he walked by his proud new smile!