Adoption Process Part III: We're Pregnant...Kind Of

Click for Part I and Part II

We are finally here.  We got the official approval today meaning we can start being shown to birth moms.  In the last two adoption posts, I have been comparing the adoption process to pregnancy, and in my mind, getting the official you are approved is like seeing the positive pregnancy test.  You could also argue actually being picked by the birthmom is a better comparison, but in my mind, that is when labor starts (at least a labor of the heart).  I've mentioned before that the process and paperwork leading up to this point has been longer and harder than our other two adoptions.  There are many reasons for that, but suffice it to say, we were thrilled to finally see our profile online (which you can check out here.  Feel free to also send anyone you know interested in placing a baby for adoption to that site too!  We will soon have a button on the blog linking to this site.)  Before discussing where we go from here, I thought I would tell a little about the homestudy.

Homestudy- where your house is the cleanest you have seen it including cleaning supplies up high and completely baby proofing your house, where you pray that your kids are on their best behavior, and you are asked questions that are hard to answer because you are trying to put yourselves in the best light but look humble.  Oh and how do you rate your marriage on the scale of 1-10? 

We have had many caseworkers in our home so we weren't worried about this homestudy except that Dallin is now old enough to be interviewed...on his own.  This was hard to prepare for because you can't say, "Please don't mention that mommy sometimes yells at you," because he will for sure mention that then.  Zane and I were in another room sweating during that interview.  Dallin did fine though except for mentioning that he only wants a baby sister and not a baby brother.  Zane, Gavin, and I are open to either a boy or a girl, Dallin is not.  Our other worry during this homestudy was how the boys will behave during all the questions and showing off of our house.  Dallin was very excited to show our social worker his loft bed.  This social worker is a mother of two young girls.  I gathered from the conversation they are sweet, calm girls.  The social worker walked into Dallin's room right as he jumped off of his loft bed (5 feet off the ground) onto the bean bags.   She was a little shocked.

Our plan from this point is to have our agency send our homestudy report to two other agencies in Utah, A Guardian Angel and Heart and Soul Adoptions.  Our Adoption Profile will be shown to birthmoms and birthdads and we wait to be picked.

Doing the paperwork for adoption is tedious, time consuming, and frustrating, but the waiting part is just hard.  This is the time where you can start having contact with birth moms emailing you and asking questions.  Every time we have contact with a birth mom our hope starts to rise.  We could also be picked by a birth mom and then she could change her mind (which she has every right to do). Even worse, you fly out to pick up your baby and then the birth mom changes her mind (or in our case, the birth father refuses to sign...again he has every right to do this) and you find yourself walking through an airport with an empty car seat and stroller and people looking to check out your baby only to be surprised that your purse it sitting in the baby's spot.  We may be waiting 6 months or a year before we are picked or like in the case with Gavin (once we switched to a new agency), two days.

The good news about going in for number three is that I have two boys who keep me very busy and occupied so that I don't go crazy wondering how every thing is going to work out.  I have had two  amazing birthmoms and two wonderful adoption experiences that testify to me that God has a hand in this journey and something miraculous is on the horizon for our family.

Labor Day

After a busy first week of school, we took a break and headed to the beach with Grandma and Grandpa. Jumping waves and building sand castles...simple pleasures that bring so much joy!

We also took advantage of the swimming pool before it closed for good.  Check out our fearless Gavin who just starts swimming whether you are there or not.  He has a great dolphin kick and is ready for swim lessons!  At the beginning of summer he was pretty apprehensive about the pool and now he is a little fish.

First Day of Pre-K

Dallin has been very excited for school to start.  He was in for a surprise when eight other friends showed up for our first day of school!

 A very serious, handsome Dallin

The real Dallin we know and love

Nine students is a lot but I have a 14-year old girl who is home schooled who teaches with me.  I don't know what I would do without her!

Dallin loves school and is learning so much.  I think his favorite part though is any playing with his friends.  He is always asking for a friend to stay after preschool for more play time.  The bigger class isn't his favorite though because he doesn't get as much attention.  He asked last week why he couldn't have his class from last year (just four kids).  Poor kid doesn't quite understand that more changes are coming.  One of his friends last year moved over the summer, another boy who is two weeks younger than Dallin and lives around the corner is moving to Australia in a month, and the last boy from last year is moving in December.  Thank goodness he has six other friends to get to know!

On a side note, when Zane worked for his public accounting firm, we considered taking a position in Australia through the firm.  It would have been the same city Dallin's friend is moving to.  After spending a couple of months looking into everything, we decided not to take the position mainly because it would be very hard to adopt while living there and we would have to put off our family.  It would have been fun to live in Australia with our friends though (and we are a little jealous)!